A while ago, Jessica Anne from Adventures With Three Girls was kind enough to do a guest post about Managing My Life as a Blogger and Mommy.
Since we all handle balance differently, I thought I might add my own story of how I balance life with blogging…
I don’t. At least, not always well. Maybe I’m too hard on myself or maybe I’m just realistic and know my short-comings but, the truth is, balance is hard for me. It isn’t because I lack organization or ideas or even motivation. I don’t have a stressful full-time job or a houseful of kids that need my attention. So why it is so hard for me to obtain balance?
Depression.
It’s an ugly word. For me at least. Sometimes people hear (or read it) and they become judgmental. Sometimes they offer advice, they become uncomfortable or they blurt out “Everybody feels sad sometimes!” Some people think being depressed is just an excuse. For what, I’m still not sure… Others know all to well the pain it can inject into your life and they share their own moving experience.
Depression still has some sort of stigma, though less nowadays, and it can be uncomfortable to wear this label. For me, it is both a handicap and an incredible motivator for change. Daenel, a member here, recently wrote about Better Your Blog in one of her posts, Day 9: Join a Forum and Start Participating. She said that Better Your Blog is:
A forum that proves when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Created by Alyna to help out a group of women who were frustrated with a blogging workshop they were taking, this group incredibly supportive, understanding and nurturing.
The words were very kind, and her description was accurate on many levels.
It describes my character because, although I struggle against depression, I’m not negative and, in fact, I began blogging in an effort to make metaphorical lemonade.
I wanted to have a “job” that I could do despite having the bad days. I started blogging as a way to try to overcome a deficiency with balance in other areas of my life. Dealing with depression, I am often very tired and low on energy and leaving the house can feel more like running a marathon on most days. Many days I could barely take care of myself. Even as it gets better, I still have these days and blogging is my attempt at figuring out a way to work with my depression instead of against it, since holding down a “normal” job is difficult when you don’t know whether you’ll be capable of getting out of bed.
I started out with a gift blog because I thought I could help people while also focusing on something that I love – finding gifts for people!
Daenel’s description not only describes how I began blogging, it also describes how Better Your Blog was born. Whether it is a bad day or a disappointing “workshop” (those who were a part of that experience know why it is in quotes!), I believe in trying to make the best (or at least better!) of a situation and, failing that, at least trying to learn from it. Because, it is sometimes with the littlest steps that we make significant progress. In fact, I wonder if I have this attitude because of dealing with depression. I have to make lemonade out of lemons more days than I’d care to admit.
Even though I lack balance, it doesn’t prevent me from trying to do my best. If you wobble, try to regain your balance. If you fall, pick yourself up. Balance is something you can practice, whether it is balancing life and blogging, learning how to roller skate, yoga, etc. – just keep at it. Practice really does make better. It never makes perfect!
There will be days that you will be productive and days where you’ll face all sorts of personal and/or technical challenges that will make you wonder if you can do this blogging thing. You can always get help here on the forums (newly designed!) when you need help regaining your balance or just about anything else blogging related. You ask, we try to answer.
You can try to find balance with the use of editorial calendars, time management techniques and even nurturing yourself and taking breaks from blogging when you need to.
The bottom line is this:
Balance isn’t about finding ways to cram more things into an already hectic schedule or setting your expectations of yourself so high that you always feel “behind”. Balance is finding the place where you feel comfortably productive and happy. There isn’t a secret to obtaining balance that you will find in any book or blog. It is something that, with a little trial and error, you will define for yourself and will have to be flexible enough to redefine from time to time – sometimes daily (or even hourly on a bad day!). Balance is not a static or predictable route from A to B, it is an ever changing adventure.
Try to visualize the days that you feel like you’ve achieved balance between blogging and the rest of your life. What happened on those days? Can you recognize some of the things that helped you achieve that balance? (regular breaks, physical activity, making a list, setting a timer to focus on a certain task?) Are there specific things that derail you that you can try to avoid? (spending too much time on Twitter or Facebook, sitting down to work without a clear goal in mind, not setting a clear boundary to define your work time to friends or family?) I would love for you to share some of the ways you feel that you find or lose your balance! Leave me a comment below – don’t forget to sign in first, if you are a member!
Happy blogging!
6 Responses to “Balance and Blogging”
Great post Alyna! It is hard to find balance everyday. You do your best and some days are better than others. Thanks for being so honest and open. You seem to be finding balance pretty well to me.
Wonderful post. I’m so glad that you have found a way to balance your life and the “things” that come with it. I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again, I think you’re an amazing person and I enjoy our back and forths on Twitter and on the forums. Sending you big ol’ hugs and lots of love.
Yeah for depressives that blog! I am starting to get a wee bit of a handle on my blogging, but it has taken a loooong time, the right passion to blog about and a lot of good meds.
The hardest thing for me has been giving myself permission NOT to read every blog in my niche and about a million blogs about blogging. For the longest time my day with filled with just reading blogs and it was so unproductive. I spent way too much time thinking and reading about blogging and not enough time crafting my own.
Now if I could just learn to focus this befuddled brain a bit better. The medication makes my already tiny attention span even worse!
My next “moving beyond depression” adventure will be meeting a bunch of book bloggers for lunch. I hate social situations, so this will be huge for me.
Want to Better Your Blog? Network! Visit ChewDigestBooks’s recent post, “Cross-Bloggination with The Lost Entwife“, and leave a comment!
really good post alyna. you always come across as positive and supportive. your honesty goes a long way in making others want to open up as well. balance is so elusive. just when you feel on top of things, something changes…
thanks alyna…
~ ana
@jessicaanne – Thanks! Boy, oh boy is it hard. But you’re right, you do your best and just keep at it. I’ll enjoy the good days and deal with the not-so-good ones.
@Daenel – You’re so sweet! You know I enjoy those conversations too! I’m not sure about being amazing but I hope to do my best living up to that compliment and it means a lot to hear that. Hugs and love right back, lady!!! I mean that!
@ChewDigestBooks – Ah ha! The love of reading and the dogs…kindred spirits. Books and animals are easier sometimes than people, aren’t they? I’ve tried all the meds and nothing helps but I have a great doctor, fortunately. We even tried MAOIs as a last ditch effort at meds – life as a vegetarian without cheese and soy and a boyfriend that was more worried about them than I was was preeetty interesting. LOL!
I remember your post about your attention span…it was awesome! And I could totally relate. For me, it isn’t like ADD, it is just thinking a lot. Although, being able to have all sorts of wonderful ideas and not the energy to act on them…frustrating!
Your blog is great and I would have never guessed that you dealt with depression, but I guess you get good at hiding it, don’t you? I remember when it started to spiral out of control for me at one point, nobody that I worked with at the time could understand how I could be depressed. Duh, you hide it! You don’t usually share that kind of thing with co-workers or strangers. Unless you blurt it out in a blog post…Lol!
Social situations…ugh. I either love them and don’t want them to end or hate them. My secret weapon? My Service Dog. She helps a TON! Her leash is like a lifeline when the anxiety of social situations get to me.
Gwen, keep on doing what you are doing because you seem to really have found your niche and hit your stride!
@imadeitso – Thank you, thank you! You know, the positivity keeps me sane and the honesty and supportiveness (which doesn’t seem to be an actual word…but it should be!) come from wanting to give people what I would like from the world. It was hard for me to be so honest about myself for a long time because depression made me feel different and inadequate so I spent a lot of energy hiding a huge part of myself. I finally realized that hiding that part of myself wasn’t fair to the people who want to get to know me or care about me. I really do hope it helps people open up because we all have things that we deal with and it is only by being honest with yourself and others that you start to find the strength and help, if you need it, to make progress instead of treading water.
Things usually change before I even have time to feel on top of anything…
You’re welcome, Ana!
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THANK YOU ALL! You guys are great! My goodness, isn’t it clear it’s a pretty outstanding group here? You all are so thoughtful and kind and caring and this isn’t even everybody. I love interacting with each and every one of you! Honestly. Now go Better Your Blogs! *Hugs*
~ Alyna
LOL, I have thought about getting my dog one of those yellow service vests so I could take him everywhere. I get so caught up with worrying about him when he is around that I don’t even notice my other issues. Of course that is because he is so badly behaved that I have to keep him in line, so I don’t think that they would believe the vest. No one is going to believe it when a Marmaduke of a dog knocks them over, sits on them, and starts licking them to death.
Thanks for saying what you said girl. I have been offline for a week and it was nice to come back to. I was ready to throw in the towel.